I'll take a break from the "Myth of Manhood" series and focus on a serious and very important news story: Tiger Woods. Now I won't pile on and make fun of Mr. Woods. He's been getting slammed throughly in the media and blogosphere. That's not to say Mr. Woods doesn't deserve what he's been receiving, it just would be redundant at this point to continue on making jokes about him.
Besides, no one knows exactly what happened and how it all transpired. What we do know is the media has gotten hold of salacious story and they will not be letting up anytime soon.
Although, I'll be the first to admit I'm a bit of hypocrite with this one. Considering all the other far more important stories in the news right now, I to am focusing on a celebrities' relationship that I'll more than likely never meet. The War in Afghanistan, Iran's defiance or the backlash against all felons from Arkansas on parole not being allowed to move to Washington State anymore probably deserve to be written about more than Mr. Woods. But, like I said I'm a hypocrite on this one.
This story has peaked my interest for many different salient reasons, too many to list. The one I'm focusing on is the expectations society has of women. Specifically, our schemas/stereotypes of how women from different races are supposed to behave. Particularly, the idea that white women are easier to deal with in relationships.
For many of the Brothers who I know have dated or married white women, they were genuinely in love with them. Yet, there are quite a few I have run into over the years who were with white women for dubious reasons. Such as the all too familiar "White Women are easier to deal with" or "you can get away with more with White Women." We probably all are aware of the stereotypical comments that some Brothers (society in general) make regarding differences in behavior among Black and White women.
Let me be clear, I'm not insinuating Mr. Woods is one of those men. I have no clue what Tiger Wood's feels internally or what his motivations were for marrying Elin Nordegren.
Yet, many people close to me have joked Elin Nordegren went "sista girl" on Tiger's Woods with a golf club. Basically, this isn't the expectation one would expect of a woman who looks like Mrs. Nordegren.
My question is "Why not?"
I think its safe to say Mrs. Nordegren reaction was a very human response to being betrayed by someone you love. It's not genetically programmed to one race or the other, it just is what it is. Granted, not every woman grabs a golf club and starts swinging for the dude's head (If that is indeed what occurred) after they caught them cheating. But, I'm willing to bet most felt a similar initial type of rage.
Maybe this national incident will normalize this human reaction and thus eliminating "the angry black woman" myth. As Mrs. Nordegren has so eloquently showed the world, Black women aren't the only ones who "snap" when they've been betrayed.
13 comments:
Thank you for writing this post.
A real straight forward code of conduct for adults would be a great thing to have. It would be valuable for people, either sex, to have a standard to follow. And we do have standards they just aren't as formal as the Original 10, which are not a bad way to start,
Cheating on the spouse, friend whatever is right up at the top.
Not hitting, for either sex, is right up there too.
May be if we had a simple "revised" set of standards they might pop into our heads at the critical moments. Sigh.
I too, am glad you wrote this from this perspective. Frankly though, I was surprised that so many people thought of women going after a man who betrayed them was mainly a black thing. It isn't and never was.
I remember many old shows and cartoons as a kid where the [white] wife went after her husband with a rolling pin (?), you know, the thing used to roll out dough for a pie crust.
Also check out the photo from this excellent blogger on who Tiger let down the most. I think it's genius in telling the untold or lesser told story.
I agree with you man. Acting out out if you are betrayed is not a Black thing. This same shit would have happened to Tiger if his wife was an alien from the planet Venus. Being betrayed by someone you loved and trusted is not a color thing. But most of the brothers I know that date White Women all say the same thing,White Women are easier to deal with. They come with less drama. They are less demanding. Maybe they are in love with their women, which is a good thing, but I think that they love them for the wrong reason....If that is even possible.
Sandra,
Thanks for stopping by and commenting! Your more than welcome to drop by and comment again.
Peace
Lady - Cracker,
Your right about having a standard for adults to follow. When I initially wrote that normalize human reaction line, my second thought is that it might not be a good idea to endorse violence. That's why I was stating that to get angry was a normal human response. I agree violence should be a deal breaker in any relationship. Yet, angry women with golf clubs might serve as a strong deterrent to cheating men!
Maybe the first rule to that standard you were talking about should be "do onto others as one would want done to themselves." That would solve a lot of are problems in society right there.
Peace
KIT,
I too remember those cartoons with the wife going after her husband with a rolling pin. It shows these emotions have been around for long, long time and black women never had a monopoly on them. So, I definitely agree with you on your point.
That blogger you mentioned did have an interesting point about Tiger letting down his sponsors. I think they are probably all scrambling around and bracing for damage control. Although, I think if push comes to shove, they'll just drop him and get another athlete to endorse their products. Maybe Brent Favre or Petton Manning.
Tiger let down his family the most. His kids can't choose to have another father or his mother can't choose to have another son in this stage of her life. When they get older, his children will have to hear about they're philandering father from jealous or mean spirited school mates. They'll ultimately pay a price for Tiger's mistake.
Peace
Dirty - Red,
Glad that you dropped by brother and I agree with you as well. Black people do not have a monopoly on snapping when they've been betrayed. As Kit mentioned from those old cartoons from the frying pan, this shit has been going on between men and women for very long time.
That's an interesting question, can you love someone for the wrong reasons? I don't believe one group of women are genetically programmed to treat a man better than another. I believe everyone brings baggage along into new relationships, no one can disregard their past experiences.
I guess it all comes down to preferences. I'm not threatened by a woman helping become a better person. If I'm falling off, I expect my life partner to challenge me and not make it "easier" for me to fall off. I'm not always right, therefore I wouldn't be where I'm today if people didn't challenge me to a better man.
But that's just me.
Peace
I don't believe one group of women are genetically programmed to treat a man better than another. I believe everyone brings baggage along into new relationships, no one can disregard their past experiences.
I totally agree. As a black woman, I find it offensive to suggest a certain group/race of females are more prone to treat a man better/worse. It all depends on the individual you're with.
Would you add us at http://weeseeyou.com/ to your blog roll?
Thanks,
SouthernGirl2
Beep Beep (911) yeah, uh, I just knocked the living DAYLIGHTS out my husband. GOOD 4 U! I bet Tiger saw every star in the UnIvErSe, Bedlam style. Elin RBI average = 210 (sign her with the Yankees) MAMA!!!! Church did you pray? YES BEDLAM ----GOOD! Truth, how be yea my man? Relations can be a MUth@#$% ((watch out for that TREE!!)) In TIGERS case WOMAN. **CAN - I - GET - A- WITNESS!!** La La La im only HUMAN, not really. BEEP BEEP, way to go Buck! TrufF, I+AM+BEDLAM and the TIGER is catching me NOW. Deacons (yeah) Hit mE..... BAM! TRUTH, Bedlam say b-Black, b-White, b-Martian, b-Xzelopian, It dont matter, when the woman gets mad thats it. (flash) Time to get the FLOCK out Dodge! Whoooo...Fire in the hole! ka boom! My man nick nack paddy whack had to learn the hard way. ooohh STAFF, whar da dna sample BEDLAM reqsteured..hum, hum, hum..BINGO (was his name O) TRUF, BEDLAM here, themz sweds done been got Norwegian genes, YES= Blood of the Vikings. Church, can I get a Mitochondrial DNA extracted, yes Bedlam, POP! Ah Rua, did you get the coding region PCR amplified, cloned and sequenced, yes Bedlam, POP TRUTH, did you check and overlapping fragments spanning the HVR-1 region, yes Bedlam, WHOOOOO DADDY! Her viking Y chromosome between nucleotides (nt) 16064–16405 was activated and she went to swing, FUC#@!@ TIGERS ARSE UP, dude could drive fitty feet (normally his drive is 301 yards) PING! results Danish Viking and Roman Iron-Age Kongemarken, Skovgaarde and Bøgebjerggård, respectively. #smile# FEMALE BEDLAM IN CONTROL. RACE Doesn’t Matter.
Its Gonna Be BEDLAM
Southern Girl 2,
Thanks for stopping by and commenting!
Also, If you haven't seen it already, I did add W.E.E. see you to my blog roll. It's an interesting blog.
As far as your comment goes, I agree with you. It depends on what that person's past experiences are and how they interpret them. The color of somebody's skin color guarantees nothing when it comes to how they'll behave.
Peace
Bedlam,
Glad to see your still with me,brother There's really nothing to add , you pretty much covered it all.
Granted, it was in a way that only you could do :)
Peace
hi Truth-
it has been a moment since i have commented at your house.
when i first heard of this mess of a story, my first question was...NOW can folks stop lying about ww being DOCILE?
notice that rather than portray this ww as angry and violent, folks chose instead to pretend that she was smashing windows to assist mr. Woody in getting out of the car. PRIOR to seeing the rear windows beat out i called...bs.
but then, as an attractive thin bw that doesn't laugh when ish isn't funny and refuses to scratch my head when it doesn't itch, REAL comfortable with looking folks in the eyes and speaking my mind,softly and articulately, i guess, i have had more opportunity to see the UNdocile side of ww AND aw. LOL! you know sistahs need some favorable blatant lies that folks refuse to stop telling. brotha got the well endowed one and ww/aw have the submissive docile crock. LOL!
i take offense to folks saying or insinuating that EITHER of the grown folks in this story are "acting black". these folks are caublinasian and white. it is long overdue for folks to come to grips with the fact that bfolks have NOT written the book on anger or violence. these are both normal human responses/emotions. ALL human beings demonstrate them at some point or another.
speaking of snapping...there is a tv show titled snapped. you will see ww do a LOT of murderous snapping. the joke is on those bm that date ww and asian women for dubious reasons. it cracks me up personally.
thanks for allowing me to share.
blessings,
focusedpurpose
What necessary words... super, a brilliant idea
focused purpose,
it is long overdue for folks to come to grips with the fact that bfolks have NOT written the book on anger or violence. these are both normal human responses/emotions. ALL human beings demonstrate them at some point or another.
I couldn't agree with you more.
By the way, I have watched "snapped" before. Ironically, the episode I saw featured a sista from Memphis snapping on some dude.
Women of all races snap and Men of all races really snap. For people to act like their sh** don't stink is amazing to me sometimes. It is what is.
Peace
Anonymous,
Thanks for the feedback.
Peace
Keep posting stuff like this i really like it
Truth-
it is ironic that the one episode you watched had a bw featured. for every ten shows, one will be black. the rest are docile, easier to get along with, trustworthy white women. lol! THAT was my point. yet...somehow, they are not attached with a "violent" label.
blessings,
focusedpurpose
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