Myth of Manhood: Chapter Five, Final Chapter, No need for a Big Ego!

From time to time, I enjoy watching the NBA. I grew up watching basketball and still love catching an entertaining game on TV every now and then.

Over the last fifteen years there has been an influx of foreign born players in the NBA. One of the more obvious observations that even a novice sports fan could make is that, foreign born players tend to be more fundamentally sound than their American counterparts. The foreigners are generally better in a few major ways: they usually can dribble and shoot with either hand, they also can shoot pretty well from the three point and free throw lines. This discrepancy in fundamental skill level is even more pronounced in the "Big Men." American big men are taught to play close to the rim with their back toward the basket. They generally have one or two offensive moves that they rely upon. The foreign born bigs (especially the Europeans) have the ability to shoot from longer range. They also have all the aforementioned abilities of foreign players, while American bigs for most part do not. This has led to the American men's basketball team losing some key games an international competition in the last ten years (Think 2002 and 2006 world championship teams or 2004 olympic games Athens, Greece). Although, the American men's basketball team won the gold medal in the 2008 olympic games in China. Even in that game though, they were pushed to the limit by Spain.

Well, I wrote all of that with this being the point, the improvement of foreign basketball players is something American coaches and NBA executives have been aware of for years. Yet, American basketball players have not shifted towards a higher fundamental skill level over the last fifteen years. It does not seem like American coaches have started to emphasize more of this "European team" style of play.

The question then becomes, what would make a person refuse to do something that would actually improve their performance and make them more competitive? In this instance, I think ego gets in the way of common sense.

Many of us men have difficulty conceding when we've done something wrong. It's easier to criticize whatever external force that is bring about the conflict. Take for instance, your boss critiques work that you recently completed and you just blow it off. "The boss is a**hole" is what you tell yourself, never thinking that maybe they were correct in their analysis of your work. Or maybe your significant other asks for more help around the house and your response is, "I do enough already, you do it." Even though most researchers in domestic issues would tell you that women generally do the majority of the work around the house.

It's not to say that believing in your ability is a bad thing. Gaining confidence from past success is a healthy way human's progress and try new activities.

I'm also not saying there are not tyrannical bosses out there. There's plenty of supervisors who think they know everything and behave like a jacka%%. When your boss accuses you of doing something wrong, when they're the one who trained you to do it that particular way, it's completely justified to dismiss them as jacka$$$$.

Yet, when an individual claims never to be wrong and refuses any feedback to the contrary, then there is a serious problem. Common sense should dictate that none us knows everything. Therefore, at some point in our lives, whether it be personal or professional, we will be wrong about something. Except for the egomaniacs, of course. Egomaniacs' never get anything wrong because they only see things from their narrow perspective. It's all about them, their wants, needs and desires, to hell with anyone else.

How could one go through life never considering their wrong but by discarding anything that doesn't go along with what they already believe. They fail to consider just because you've worked on something or believed in a cause for a long time, doesn't necessarily mean it's correct!

In one key way, being an egomaniac or depressed individual are similar: they both refuse to allow feedback from others into their mind. A very depressed individual only sees the glum in their particular circumstance, not all the other possibilities or meanings of a certain life event. In that same vain, egomaniacs don't allow other information in as well, their too smart or too good to be wrong.

The choice for all of us is simply, we can be humble in the face of failure or simply deny its existence. If one chooses the latter, just like the 2004 American men's basketball team, you won't becoming home with the gold. There's an old saying, one has a right to their own opinion but not their own facts. Face facts now ladies and gentleman, before it's too late!